A Second Wife?!

KhorafiThe moment you ask a group of young people, assuming I am still one of them, about their opinion of taking a second wife and the replies will race to you as they are in a 100-meter race where everyone is keen on winning. They all roll up their sleeves to take part in this ‘interesting’ discussion. I wonder what makes this particular question very appealing to every man and provocative to women!

One of the guys said that his wife does not understand him and quickly gets angry over the most trivial things. “I try to keep calm and let her vent steam as she pleases while I am boiling inside, because I heard a specialist advise men to do so on a radio program,” he said, noting that the expert advised husbands to avoid wives’ anger rages by leaving the house to avoid problems. “I would marry another one if only I could,” he added, explaining that such a step needs much guts and money.

Another said that the question he hates most from his wife is when she calls asking him: Where are you? “I then have an urge to get into the phone to tell her that I am bathing in the water tank on the roof!” he said, pointing out that his wife suspects all his moves. On his part, Bu Saad said that what really gets on his nerves is that his wife usually purchases the most elegant and expensive clothes only to wear them in front of her family and friends, while she only wears cheap garments bought from public stores for him as if he was nothing but a worthless insignificant shepherd, though it is he who pays for all her purchases. “What a fool I am!” he said.

I elicited many reactions and intend to publish them in further articles. However, another responder said that he would immediately get married to another woman if only he had enough money, because he was fed up with his wife. “Whenever I inquire about her whereabouts, she says that she is going shopping, on a family visit or going to a restaurant. She is always out of the house. The same applies to the children. She is very sick with the ‘let me be’ syndrome and I am fed up with that!” he explained.

I believe that my female readers would kill me for this article, but kindly hold your horses and read on. On the other hand, many men stay at home waiting long for their wives to return from beauty salons to put on the best makeup for them, but shockingly meet them with silly questions such as: What kept you so long? Don’t you have a husband or kids to tend to? You are too old to do that, aren’t you ashamed of yourself? What’s the difference? Nothing has changed after makeup – we only lost the money you spent on it.

Such questions are very disappointing for women and may drive some of them to shout back. Some other men know nothing about their houses and show no care for its needs. They only care for their diwaniyas or ranches. So what do such husbands expect from their wives, who in most cases, keep silent and patient only for the sake of the kids.

Finally, I would like to highlight that the holy Prophet (PBUH) advised us to take very good care of women as they are very fragile creatures. He taught us that mutual understanding is the base of marital relations and that it would be normal to have family disputes between couples and that this should not make husbands consider having second wives because of some silly complaints like the ones the guys mentioned above.

Dear fellowman – your first wife is the mother of your children. You should treat her nicely, put up with her faults and change a little for her. The same applies for you, dear wives. Take good care of your husbands and be like they wish. May Almighty Allah bestow happiness on you all. When a woman was asked about what she needs from a man, she said: I need security rather than love, deeds rather than words, kindness rather than cruelty and a man rather than a male!” – Translated by Kuwait Times from Al-Anbaa

By Sami Al-Khorafi

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