By Abdellatif Sharaa
Going through my Facebook messages, I noticed the following story and would like to share it with you:
A friend had a domestic problem with his wife that almost ended their marriage. Each one of them was not accepting a word from the other, and life together was extremely impossible to a point he asked me to start divorce procedures. When I went to meet them, I stipulated that both be present at home. I found each one of them was giving their back to the other, and their facial expressions reflected anger.
Without warning, I decided to set the most difficult part of this problem aside, as the wife insisted on getting a divorce. I abruptly asked the husband to tell me how he asked her to marry him. He smiled and said you are taking me 30 years back, then went ahead to speak about a hot love story, and each time he stopped I asked him to continue while his wife was smiling until he spoke about how he fought everyone for her sake, to a point she almost started another problem because he did not tell her about what he faced and endured and almost forgot the original problem. I then asked her to say why she married him. The surprise was that she faced larger challenges than him, and he was listening attentively.
Here, when I was able to melt the largest mass of ice between them, I excused myself, and while on my way to the door, the wife asked me why I was leaving before settling the issue, so I asked her what issue? You got married after a love story and each one fought hard for the sake of the other, then now you want to destroy everything with your own hands? I asked the husband to apologize to his wife and left, and things went back to normal between them.
The merit of the story is how to use positivity to solve problems. It is actually in the nature of the human being to make mistakes – some are small and can be ignored or forgotten, while others are very difficult to keep aside due to their effect on the individual’s life. Fortunately, there are ways that help continue life normally and as usual.
One has to be true and realistic. Some people justify their mistakes as a “white lie” which does not harm, but the truth is, a lie is a lie regardless of how we present it. The best thing for one to do is to take responsibility and admit mistakes. An individual may think he is stupid due to his admittance, but such a feeling is short-lived.
Another thing – one should not be hard on himself as it is normal for one to be sad or embarrassed after making a certain mistake, but you must remember that you should not continue living under the control of those negative feelings. So try to find a suitable way to help release the tension, and this can be through talking to a friend or a trusted person. One effective way is to go for a walk or write down your feelings to identify them correctly, then deal with them the right way.
An important act is to apologize, although some people think apologizing indicates weak personality, although the truth is to the contrary. Apologizing shows the person being able to take responsibility for his mistakes, which means readiness to correct the mistakes or at least not making them again later. We really should be aware of what may be the effects of the mistake down the road even after some time, and consider the severity of it, so that help can be sought to avoid any negative repercussions.