By Nebal Snan

KUWAIT: "My husband doesn't know how to eat with a spoon." That's how one unnamed young woman justified her request for divorce only two years following her marriage, according to Dr Samira Al-Dosari, a social psychology consultant. Speaking at an event organized by the ministry of social affairs, she told a crowd of about 50 women that young couples are getting divorced for increasingly trivial reasons.

Speakers Abdulaziz Bomejdad, a lawyer and writer with experience working at family courts in Kuwait, and Dr Hanan Al-Harby, an expert in psychological and social sciences, also weighed in on how to best tackle familial and marital issues. The three panelists agreed that young people must learn how to resolve or even prevent conflicts long before they decide to look for a partner.

The need for educating the youth about spousal conflict management has never been more pressing. In 2021, Kuwait set a new record for divorce rates, with an increase of 13.7 percent compared to the previous year. Dosari said the numbers continue to soar in part because couples are swept up in the fantasy of the big day and are not well-prepared for the responsibilities that come with their new roles.

Samira Al-Dosari
Samira Al-Dosari
Hanan Al-Harby
Hanan Al-Harby
Abdulaziz Bomejdad
Abdulaziz Bomejdad

That's why she's a strong advocate for what she called a marriage "license", - a training program that's meant to give young people insight into what to expect from marriage and help them acquire the skills necessary for navigating any issues they might encounter while living under the same roof. The first five years after tying the knot, she said, are key to building a healthy, long-lasting relationship.

Bomejdad stressed that the responsibility of teaching the new generation all about marriage primarily falls on the shoulders of parents, guardians and families. Government programs should also play a role, he added. Bomejdad suggested that pre-marriage courses be mandated by law as a solution to ensure stable relationships, referencing a previous attempt to do so by the Kuwaiti parliament.

The courses have been discussed in parliament at least as far back as 2014, when MP Saleh Ashour submitted a bill that would have made them obligatory. The bill was voted down at the National Assembly in 2016, but the women and family affairs committee brought back the courses for discussion a year later. Despite media reports citing a positive response to the proposal from justice ministry representatives in 2017, pre-marriage courses remain an unrealized idea.

Beyond official training, Dosari said finding the perfect match hinges on understanding the personality of your potential partner. But conflicts are bound to happen, said Harby, and identifying the best solution requires keeping calm and locating the root of the problem. Pick your battles, Harby added, because you can't win every time.