Before we go any further, let’s look at the facts:
No one is a stranger to depression.
You are never the only one, even though it may feel like your world is dark while others are prancing around in their happy lives. The truth is we all have our downs.
The key is to truly appreciate how crucial our downtime is for our life experience. That’s when it all turns around and makes sense, when every scar has a purpose.
Only those who have faced loneliness can appreciate love – you must experience upsets in order to truly recognize happiness and only when your limits are tested can you surpass them to become extraordinary.
The definition of depression according to my perspective: “A constant rejection of reality, coupled with a firm belief that it should be different.”
So in order to step out of it, you don’t necessarily need to become positive or hopeful, but rather accept reality.
The first reality you must accept and honor is depression itself. Before trying to bounce into happiness (which never works) you must honor your upsets.
1. Realizing that it’s not a big deal – we all go through it. You are not alone. You are not the only person to ever suffer from depression and you have legitimate reasons for being depressed.
2. Knowing that every success story has at one point been a story of misery.
3. Taking your upset as a sign of what you do not want in your life. This can also help you to recognize what you do want and truly appreciate it.
4. Understand the Law of Fluctuation. You may feel bad now, but it only gets better! Anticipate that the best days of your life are still to come.
Most importantly, understand that depression when constant becomes a hormonal issue.
Ever tried having a positive thought when upset? Don’t you just want to punch the person who tries to come up with positive advice?
While feeling down, you can only access negative thoughts. Don’t feel bad, that’s just how the brain works. So don’t be angry at yourself for not getting over it easily. It takes time, but the journey is worth it.
Finally, your key to any episode is to forgive yourself. We tend to develop self-loathing at this stage and resent how we think. When you are depressed, you feel people’s happiness is constantly rubbed in your face. So we hate them and ourselves even more!
Take the time to forgive yourself, truly understand that nothing is your fault and all these feelings are simply an indication of your high standards and true longing for happiness. That this is in our nature as humans and we all go through it. We must, otherwise there is no growth, no learning and no development.
Just promise yourself you won’t give in to your depression or take it too seriously. It can be a blessing in disguise and as Steve Jobs once said, “You can never connect the dots forwards, only backwards.”
The only promise I leave you with is that it will one day all make sense.
By Hassan Al Mosawi