Spiritual wellness: On sale!

Jeri Al-Jeri

We all have our insecurities in life. Our mortality, forces us to wonder what is this all about? And we all have our ways on how to deal with it. Traditionally, people have turned to their inherit belief system, with its preacher, guru, sheikh who promised to suffice their “spiritual” needs. And all cultures, have valued concepts such as “harmony”, “peacefulness”, “happiness “; etc. And as luck would have it, these “blissful feelings” are all packaged for us and on sale for a mind blowing KD 14.000!
While I was pondering whether I was too aggressive on the meticulous sales men behind the self-help movement in my last article on KT, the phone rang, “We would like to offer you a ticket for a trip to the Egyptian pyramids, to practice our specially designed form of yoga that we all will practice together alongside doctor (……) himself! And right in the center of the Pharaoh’s tomb!

“Why?” I asked. A scripted answer was sure to follow, “Don’t we all have our anxieties about the future? Don’t we have  our moments of pain and sore from the past?” after a brief moment of silence, she continued, “The pyramid’s energy will filter your subconscious and wash away all the psychological wounds and scars from your soul, and it will rejuvenate your zest for life!”

While the tape recording was on, I asked, “I have written about the scams of the self-help movement, and proven that it is never based on psychological discourses nor legitimate managements’ theories and I knew that it crossed the line to spiritualism along time ago, so allow me to ask, what are the qualifications of the instructor?

She answered after suppressing a giggle, “Not psychology!”

“Look I can get you a job better than this,” I told her. “You know your product is impractical, your speaker is not a sage from any respected religion, nor a doctor. And about special materials influencing the soul – that is utter nonsense. There is no such thing in physics as an “aura”! Therefore, this so-called aura that the advertisement group keeps showing us its pictures, is nothing but organic radiation. There is not an ounce of credibility on what your people are trying to sell us, and by the way, it is damaging for vulnerable men and women who are placing their hearts and minds in the hands of non-professionals claiming to heal them of hurts and damaged caused by life’s experiences.

“I must think about it,” she replied, under the seduction of more paychecks.

I had arranged  two dinners with two “coaches” who shared the impression that I was not the argumentative type, and for once, since they started their careers, they felt a stranger would listen to them without the pressure of all social expectations.
In his house, he opened his computer to show me all his Power Point presentations with all the same old tired, copy-pasted quotes.

“Can you call it a lucrative profession?” I asked him. “Throw a coin in the air and it will fall onto the head of a so-called ‘life coach’. They are everywhere, multiplying in numbers and decreasing in quality, and I am jumping on board with them.”
The second life coach said it with a sharper tone: “I rent a hall for KD 10 per head in any hotel and invite all my Instagram followers to take a three hour course for KD 50 each and even sell them their ‘completion certificates’ with my logo on it.
This leads me to conclude that it is capitalism not coaching that is the draw.

By Jeri Al-Jeri
[email protected]

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